On July 3, 2012, Dr. Janet Leinenburg, of the Smithsonian, discovered the cure to cancer. A dog who had cancer was brought to her lab for her to try and cure. You see, this dog was Fluffy, the wonder dog. He made his owner millions of dollars richer, but now he had fallen ill. So Fluffy was brought in.
Dr. Leinenburg was using isotopes to give cancer to ants to see how they reacted, and Fluffy was chowing down on Physiochloric acid, because it's harmless and might have been the cure. Dr. Leinenburg accidentally spilled some isotopes in the physiochloric acid, and Fluffy ate it unknowingly. Seventeen days later, he was scanned, and the cancer lump was smaller. He was fed more of the mixture, and by the next month, he was cured.
Dr. Leinenburg has been studying cancer treatment ever since her husband fell ill and died from cancer. She has worked long and hard for this cure, and deserves all the fame and fortune she has gotten. Her only regret is that she did not discover it sooner. Thousands of people are diagnosed with cancer every year, and many of them do not make it. this treatment cures cancer anywhere in the body, except for. in your toes or feet. in that case, amputation would be the best route. So spread the word! Cancer treatment is very cheap and accessible, so nobody will ever die from this disease again!
Sorry to everyone who reads this and is offended by anything in here. This was a class assignment, not a practical joke or anything.
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